I hate that you'll always make feel like I wasn't as good as her.

So what, was I just second best in your eyes from the start?

Was I just a filler to help you ignore the fact she dropped you easier than a bad habit?

You made it feel so real, me and you.

Don't worry, just add me onto your list of regrets.

And I'll add you to my list of pleasant memories and valuable experiences.

So in about 6 months time, perhaps...

I feel that hatred brewing inside me. From the depths of my mind, its rolling to a boil. Don't speak to me. Don't touch me. Don't look my way at all. Hurling my closed fist to my skull with all the strength my weak body can muster cannot dull the burning sensation of this hate. The hydrochloric acid is churning with a vengeance that threatens to explode up from my stomach. I'm fighting this war while bleeding internally. The struggle is great and hope is diminishing. I can't believe what I see, what I hear, what I feel... tell me it isn't real. No. No. No. I want all of you dead. Lifeless.

This is stronger than an emotion. It's a state of being. It's consuming me.

It has now become me.

Laaaazzzzyyyyyyyyy day.

My attire: black tank top, CHHS Latin Club sweat pants, and my leopard print slippers.

Facebook. Brownies. My Name Is Earl. Youtube. Music downloads. Couch potato.

I like days like this sometimes.

Sugar Ray - Every morning by xtina138

It's January 1, 2011. Wasn't such a bad new year at all. I didn't know what I'd be doing but it worked out well enough. Mellow mushroom, sour gummy worms, uncontrollable laughter from picture/story game, firecrackers that nearly deafened me in one ear, and hope for a better year.

Time to start over. Time to start new things.

I ordered these professional make up brushes the other day in a set for about 30 bucks. They were originally $50, but a got them discounted thanks to a professional freelance make up artist named Kandee Johnson. Not that anyone reads my boring blog, but here's her page for information on the brushes: http://kandeethemakeupartist.blogspot.com/2010/12/make-up-brushes-for-everyone.html

Lunar eclipse tonight!

Sweat. Heavy breathing. Trembling hands. Pounding heartbeat. Paralysis. Muscles tingling. Vision fading in and out. Unbearable pain; the horrific, intense pain.

I did not even fathom what was possibly occurring. Just another bad month? No.

It was far worse than any pain I had experienced in my lifetime. I cannot ever forget.

I didn't know how to react after I realized what had happened. My bundle of mixed emotions cluttered my tired mind. I'm still holding on to it in the back of my head wondering "what if" and thinking how unhealthily did I treat my body? Sorry I didn't have ability to sustain and nurture properly, my potential progeny.

But it was as if nature knew I wasn't ready. Not like this, not now.